February 17th, 2010A KISS - TIMELESS GIFT
In my bathroom hangs a picture of two little children leaning toward one another to give a kiss.
In my dining room hangs a picture of me kissing the Torah on the occasion of my granddaughter’s bat mitzvah.
In my living room hangs a picture of friends hugging and kissing during a reunion dinner, after a 20-year absence from one another.
In my bedroom hangs a picture of two lovers locked in a full body embrace, with lips engaging in a passionate kiss.
We have all kissed and been kissed. We kiss our kids, our friends, our spouses, our animals, various members of our families, and even a beautiful bottle of wine presented to us as a gift.
What is a kiss to you? To me, it is a gesture that says “I see you” and “I want to connect with you”.
Just a couple of days after Valentine’s Day – that day many dread and a few embrace – I am still thinking about all that that day of “love” can still serve for you and for me.
During a recent conversation with a client, she was reflecting on a kiss she experienced with a new man she was just beginning to date. She was wondering about what it “means”. I asked her to think about the other men in her life whom she has kissed. And what did those kisses “mean”? She laughed and admitted that while she had thought that this or that relationship had been something special, sometimes even basing that evaluation on the magnitude of the “kiss” experience, she realized that the kiss was just a kiss in that moment. I asked, “really?”
Then I told her the story of two kisses from two separate men who had a huge impact on my life:
The first kiss was a simple kiss of “goodbye” from a man I had met for only a few hours of conversation while travelling; it was a time in my life when I was married but celebate for a long time, due to my husband’s illness. It was a time that I was in my mid-50’s and had accepted the apparent fact of life for me that my sexuality was a thing of the past, that I was basically “dead” from the waist down, and that my own sexiness and passionate needs were long behind me, not ahead of me. His one sweet kiss awakened my libido. His one kiss gave me an experience of being re-awakened as a woman whose sensuality was simply lying dormant, but not entirely dead. We never exchanged anything beyond that one simple farewell kiss. However, I shall never forget that magical moment. Yoram changed my life with that kiss.
The second kiss was given to me by a man who became my lover for several years, following the death of my beloved husband. It was a kiss which ignited my passionate energies and, then in my mid-60’s, gave me the gift of vitality at a time in my life when many women have learned to accept libidinous tendencies as either inappropriate for “that age” or have resigned themselves to sexless lives, whether married or not. That initial kiss re-awakened hormonal activities, the release of oxytocin, the regeneration of vital energies which had been lying in wait for over a decade. That kiss was an energetic connection of passion which breathed a new level of awareness and vitality into my flow of blood through my veins and spiritual energy throughout my essential Self.
Never underestimate the power and significance of a kiss.
Let it be whatever it is: a sweet connection and acknowledgment for the moment, which has its own timeless quality, but doesn’t necessarily “go anywhere”. It can also be the beginning of an eternal relationship with your essential spiritual self, which has connected to a life partner or soulmate.
Let is be whatever it is: be grateful for whatever the gifts it brings, and don’t expect it to be anything more than what you experience in the moment. If and when that moment expands to another, be grateful for that. And so it goes…
With love and blessings