For the past ten years, my motto for what I do as a Relationship and Life Coach has been: “I’m not here to change you…just to wake you up!” Recently, I added a new motto: “Loving is Living…Everything else is a distraction.” It’s not my job to change anyone; it is my job to empower each client to make changes, shifts and to transform his/her own life. It’s also my job to inspire my clients and my audiences to say thank youfor life’s challenges and difficult people: it is these obstacles and bumps in the road which become our greatest gifts.
All of life, as I see it, is about growing and learning — always. Every relationship provides a variety of experiences of ourselves: some relationships are sources of comfort and support; others are sources of challenge and opportunity. Our most intimate relationships are often the most challenging; it is in these (whether it be parents and children, lovers, friends or co-workers) that we each do our most growing and learning. As a coach, I assist my clients to shift the focus from the problem to the opportunity.
Sooo….what is coaching? Is it therapy? Is it counseling? What kind of credentials does the “coach” have to have, in order to qualify as a “Life Coach”?
Well…this is a growing field: COACHING. Especially for the Relationship coach and the Life coach. You know about football coaches and vocal coaches, right? These folks help the footballs players and the singers do what they do better, play the game at the next level, reach their highest potential in their game or art. Likewise, the “Relationship Coach” and “Life Coach” is trained to ask the right questions; to watch and listen for the distance between what you SAY you want in your life and what it is you are DOING and THINKING that presents barriers to having the life you love.
So many people will ask me: “so…why do I DOOO that?” and I answer “I’m not sure why…and if you had the answer, would it make a difference?” I would much rather avoid the “analysis paralysis” and go straight to observing what is working and not working. To stop looking back and analyzing ourselves out of the business of living; and to look forward at what we want our lives to be and how we want to experience ourselves in our work, our relationships and our spiritual connection with ourselves and our creative source.
Some Relationship and Life Coaching may lean toward the business approach to things; will look at goals and create concrete action steps to achieve and remain accountable for those goals. Other Coaching may be a spiritually-based intuitive approach to looking at the person on a mind-body-spirit basis, looking and listening for the consonance or dissonance between what a client may want to experience in life and what he/she may be willing to allow to emerge.
Coaching is NOT therapy, although it is therapeutic. The coach does not give advice, but guides and suggests options. Coaches often work in alliance with therapists, making referrals to colleagues who can supplement the coaching process.